Archives: Culture

Dear Melbourne,

I love you. I love your secret streets and bookshops and markets. I love your scarves and boots and beanies. I love your wood fires and red wine and hot chocolates. I hate your water temperature.

Love from Catherine.

For my Aussie followers not safely embraced by Queensland’s warm hugs, here is a rant about Winter, and some ways in which to get through that cold, city shadow, white huff season.

1. Document your travels: Winter is the perfect time to document your adventures in an album. If you fancy a coffee-table-style book, snapfish.com.au is among many who make creating a professional looking album with your photos easy. Alternatively, the more rustic cut and paste style mementos also work well, and you can add your tickets and postcards too to keep everything together. Get creative!

2. Work hard: Now is the time to work hard. If you aren’t chasing Summer around the globe this year, then get busy saving money now, and leave Summer free to spend on diving!

3. Play games: I rarely play console games, but when I do, it is usually during winter. This is because first person adventure games are a fun way to live a fantasy. The graphics these days are also so beautifully realistic that finding ruins and exploring exotic locales is all the more fun. Nerdy, but fun.

4. Discover new activities: The beach has many other activities that can inspire ocean-minded people. I recently discovered that sea-glass is a ‘thing’ (search it on instagram… you’ll be amazed). I set out to find some on the tideline, adamant that I had never seen such a thing, and was gratified by the few smooth colourful treasures that I did find. What’s more interesting is the history that can be attached to said pieces of what is essentially rubbish. Rockpool rambles are another way to get your sea life fix. And supping or kayaking are other ways of keeping dry while getting active.

(Pic: Seaglass finds!)

5. Plan the next trip: Butchers paper – check. Textas – check. Woodfire – check. Big cuppa tea – check. (Okay let’s be honest, it’s a glass of wine and a laptop). Research and PLAN! Reading copious amounts of dive fiction also falls into this category

6. Eat: Consider your duty this season to eat everything. Taste new things, go out, sample at markets, attempt inspired cooking. Finally, when it comes time to dive, your new extra layer of fat will keep you warm. Especially in Port Phillip Bay…

(Pic: Dream desk, from the new Tomb Raider game. Maps, diaries and coordinates = adventure!)

I don’t quite know how I should feel.

The idea that someone has salvaged a relic, my relic, and that I will never dive on it again, is a strange thought.

The ‘thing’ was rusted metal, fused with rivets and straps creating a three-dimensional work of art, much like a huge olive. if I had wanted to, without my cumbersome gear, I could have fitted inside, like a black lycra bird in a rusted cage. Although the deteriorating metal casing the structure was supporting was quite sharp. It was in less than ten metres of water and was likely wharf or ship debris, a large lantern or buoy perhaps from past times, as it had a large ring at the top as if for hanging it up. My buddy and I came across the ‘thing’ at our favourite site. Having possibly bypassed it many times, we experienced the elation of underwater discovery. More likely though, was that the large seas the week before had unearthed it. We called it our relic.

The shock came when I was walking the dog a couple of years later only a few streets away from the dive site, and saw the ‘thing’. Stark naked and sitting on the manicured front lawn of someone’s house, horridly out of place next to the green snake of a garden hose. Someone had brought it up. Suddenly, after years of coming to terms with a salty caress, it was resigned to live out life as some sort of an awkward garden feature. A talking point for inter-state relatives.

And I understand. I do. It is the same reason people collect shells and rocks and broken china and display them at home. A piece of the past.

Obviously I do not own the relic, I probably didn’t even discover it. But who has the right to say whether something that makes a dive site enjoyable or have meaning is theirs to take? Not to mention the countless ocean plants, and creatures that had set up house on that artificial reef.

It would be like uprooting Sydney and dropping it into the Mariana Trench. Saying, survive that.

But is the ‘thing’ even considered cultural heritage? Or merely rusted rubbish that is better off lifted from the sea which it is contaminating. It is unlikely to be labelled ‘archaeologically significant’, but regardless, now we will probably never know. When most things in this world have been discovered, explored and documented, would someone please let me have just one?

N.b. Having been unable to find any catalogued photos of the ‘thing’, or even its origin, my research continues.

Often during our busy schedules, travel is a special time when reading for pleasure is catered for. There are hammocks and beaches and lazy afternoons just waiting to be filled. I personally love choosing a book to take, knowng that it will soon be dog-eared, wet, bent and loved, and destined to fall across my chest when naps take over. Alternatively, in the depths of Winter I may crave what I like to call the ‘ fantasea’ genre, any book that takes me away to a tropical location filled with diving and adventure. Here are my top 6 Beach Holiday Reads: (Click on the book icon to purchase.)

1. The Beach, Alex Garland.

Seeking perfection in a private community on a secret island location sounds like a dream. Fishing, playing, picking fruit, watching the stars. Yet the idyllic scenario is soon tainted by reality and various groups playing with power. Richard, tourist become traveller, finds himself on the island, at first embraces the wonderful lifestyle of no commitment to reality, but is soon overwhelmed by the lack of boundary and the controlling members of the group who insist on their secrecy at all costs.

2. Savages, Shirley Conran.

A group of corporate wives meet up on a tropical island while their husbands are at a conference there, but on witnessing a shocking attack, are forced to go to ground. With only their rough boat skipper to teach them survival skills in the jungle, the woman hide deep in the forest and must learn to fend for themselves.

3. The Reef, Nora Roberts.

A battle of the wills against two main characters destined to hook up. They find a sword on a treasure dive in the first couple of chapters and spend the rest of the book trying to outwit the baddy/getting rights to wrecks/and having the hots for each other. Simple, oceany goodness.

4. Skinny Dip, Carl Hiaasen.

Skinny Dip is ridiculous. There is only one way to put it. But ridiculous in the best way. Set in the Florida Keys, there are enough psychotic ex-husbands, dopey cronies and sly gators to keep you entertained. One of my rare laugh-out-loud moments was had during this book. It’s appeal is in it’s sunny locale, extravagant characters and, well… it’s ridiculousness.

5. An Embarassment of Mangoes, Ann Vanderhoof.

This Non-Fiction account of one couples sailing trip down to the Caribbean and all that they experience. While beating the hurricane season and living off fresh fish, the book details the lives of ‘cruisers’. If you have ever dreamt of packing up and sailing away, then this is the book for you. Easy holiday reading at it’s best. Also perfect for those dreamy Winter afternoons when sun is a distant memory…

6. Inca Gold, Clive Cussler.

I have included a ‘Dirk Pitt’ novel, not because it is my favourite, but because as the veritable King of dive literature, with over fifty books in his series’, Clive Cussler books get an honourable mention. Dirk Pitt is not his only protagonist, and possibly not the most likable. Sure, he’s tough and sexy and rugged and adventurous. He also dives. And my God I just can’t seem to put the book down! There are other series by Cussler within the same genre, all action, all ocean-faring adventure, and obviously with such a wide range there are many others that may form a personal favourite either due to their location, lead role, or interesting relic of value. Cussler obviously speaks from experience and strong research, making the death-defying escapes from death perhaps the only minor issue in accuracy. Fun dive fiction!

Got more? Comment and share your favourite dive/holiday reads!

Danny and I dived for forty minutes that day, and collected rubbish that had been strewn into the sea.

First mission of the day; collect fisherman’s dropped knife. This was essential, in order to avoid any potential Alf Stewart-esque situtions; “I need my knife, ya flamin’ galahs!”

Second challenge; retrieve drunken young man’s deck chair. (Don’t even ask.) And don’t get me started on the bike.

Then we found a wheelie bin. It was somewhat ironic. (Not to mention I got quite a fright from the looming black shape as it appeared.) Not just that, but the rubbish was more natural than I would care to believe. A tiny blue-ringed octopus, perfect in its flashing neon complexity, living in a bottle. Us at a loss to remove its home from the system. The vast quantity of objects borne on tides to gather. Enough lures and fishing line tangled amongst the rocks and weed to stock a tackle shop. I counted on two hands the things that didn’t belong. From things carelessly dropped from the wharf, to things that had no doubt travelled miles on tides and currents. Beer bottle; brick; plastic wrapper; caterpillar treads, to name a few. And some of these things will become a part of the ocean. The bottle is a home. The treads are relics. The brick, artificial reef stock. And creatures adapt.

But not all of the rubbish assimilates in this way. A plastic wrapper looks like a jellyfish. Turtles eat jellyfish.

End of story.

So, there we were, Merimbula Main Beach, hand in hand, watching the dog attempt to dig to China and vying for more attention by trying to get between us. Watching as the peach tones of the sunset fell over the twinkling start-up lights of Pambula. Seeing the colour of the sky turn the sea to a rose hue, while holiday makes made the most of the last light.

What happened next was simply un-Australian.

Someone. Stole. Our. Thongs.

Kidnapped from their safe nest at the top of the path where gravel turns to soft sand, where thongs are designed to be kicked off and added to a colourful melee of cheap rubber. Gone. An assault on the etiquette of coastal living!

So with stubbed toes and gravel indented feet, we hobbled to the car. Incredulous that this could happen! Floored it from the parking lot, driving through Fishpen, necks craning and leering at any couple whose feet vaguely resembled the size of our own. Judgmentally focusing on the occupants of parked Wicked campers. When actually anyone was fair game.

How could this happen? My feet had indented those thongs over years of wear, like a fingerprint! Like memory foam! Only my feet could fit those grooves. A veritable salty-haired, sand-blown Cinderella.

And then, ‘Babe, I don’t mean to alarm you, but we are about to run out of petrol.’ Evidently the day could get worse.

But in a somewhat romantic/apologetic gesture, ‘the man’ bought me a new pair of thongs. But they will never be the same. For they will take years to break in.

So, guard your thongs this Summer, people. Or padlock them to the fence at the top of the beach path. This is not extreme behaviour, as the world is changing, and a good pair of thongs are worth their flimsy weight in gold.

To truly make your dive buddy smile this Christmas, take inspiration  from these top ten ideas. I believe that the perfect gift should either inspire or be useful but can also be a reflection of you and your buddy’s journeys!

1. Mini Dive Helmet - This old-fashioned deep sea diving helmet has a pencil sharpener incorporated into the base. Buy Now!

2. Scratcher Map – Available in either Australia or Global. This map is like a giant scratchie, and using a coin you rub out every area you have ever visited, revealing the colour beneath. Perfect for well travelled divers and adventurers alike. Buy Now!

3. Pendant – Everyone has a favourite sea creature, and while this may not be for totemistic reasons, some divers may simply feel a connection with a particular playful animal, actively seek it out for their ‘to see’ list, or just feel that sense of joy when they see one in the wild. I have a seal totem, and my friend bought it for me at a second hand shop. It gets me through the cool winter months. Other animals include the manta ray Buy Now! and the sand dollar Buy Now!

4. Wind Gauge/Anemometer – The first thing I do every morning is put the kettle on and check the weather conditions. I do this by standing on the verandah barefoot in my oversized t-shirt, feeling the breeze/or lack of breeze on my skin and looking up at a crude ribbon tied to a stick on my next door neighbours garage roof. This particular one  however, is a lot more upmarket.  Buy Now!

5. Manatee (dugong) Tea Infuser – He just looks so happy bobbing around in your cuppa!  Buy now!

6. Personalised Shadow Box – This gift is easy to make and will have special meaning to any dive buddy. Click here for a step by step guide.

7. Dive Essentials Kit – Even though dive essentials kits are available commercially, it can still be more appropriate to make one. This way you can include personalised objects like your buddies favourite lollies, and humourous objects like an anti-wetsuit peeing device (a cork). Click here to get ideas for yours.

8. Journal – Imagine this journal, salt-sprayed and peeling, riddled with dive logs, GPS marks and wreck discoveries, sitting on a desk in a cabin on a vessel on the ocean. Now imagine the look on your buddy’s face this Christmas. Buy Now!

9. Subscription to a Magazine – The gift that keeps on giving! I buy dive magazines, or any magazine usually if I happen to be in the newsagents with a spare ten bucks. And I always enjoy that new ink smell, the stories, photography and inspiration, despite not buying it religiously. So if I were to receive one monthly, with no obvious effort on my part, well you can imagine!

10. Shark USB - I don’t know why but this appeals. Buy Now! 

A Shadow Box is a lovely way to reference a particular dive site, trip or experience that you have had with your buddy. With shadow boxes now so easy to come by in craft shops, getting this gift together in time for Christmas is even easier.

You will need –

*Shadow Box – 6×4 photo-sized and available painted or unfinished, check out ‘Spotlight’ or ‘The Reject Shop.’ (Sometimes op-shops may have old ones that you can adapt.)

*6×4 Photo – Pick something momentous or special, something that you and your buddy have enjoyed together.

*Paint – If your shadow box requires painting, or simply leave raw if on a time/money budget as it is effective either way. Paint shops might do a small sample for a reasonable price if you ask.

*Small Shells/Bits & Pieces – Little objects either local to the area you dived or with ocean qualities, but must be small enough to fit behind the glass. Craft shops often have little seahorse or anchor pendants in their beading section.

*Sand - A little bit of beach sand. Usually what you bring home in your shoe will be enough.

*Glue – Depending of the quality of the box, and if you use sand, it can be useful to use glue to seal the joins of the finished product.

What to do –

*Bring it all together, as personal or as individual as you like. Don’t forget that if you are painting the box, do this first and tape the glass to remove after the paint has dried. Another tip, is to ask for white borders when you get your photos developed, as it adds a little touch of professionalism.

Don’t be fooled by the low rating of ocean and diving content in this novel, I mean, just look at the cover! And she’s in a cocktail for goodness sake. I’m sold.

Helen Fielding’s quick-witted yet over excitable protagonist is reminiscent of perhaps the author’s most famous character, Bridget Jones. But I personally like Olivia Joules better. Coz she dives. But also, she just has more…. attitude? 

First of all, she does things like this, ‘Sixty feet below the surface, it was like being in a dream or on another planet. Olivia, dressed in a red swimsuit and diving gear, was on the edge of a precipice, a sheer cliff falling away a thousand feet into the abyss.’ And then describes backpackers like this, ‘The standard dress was faded, threadbare clothes which might have fitted when they left Stockholm or Helsinki but which, after six months of diving, rice and peas and dysentry, were now two sizes too big.’

Oh, and then there’s this -

Yes! There are a few well placed illustrations throughout the book, that bring frivolity to her seemingly ridiculous situations. Not since childhood have I been this excited about book illustrations.

So the plot is pretty much her racing around the world following a journalistic lead but thinking she is caught up in a terrorist conspiracy… Good Summer holiday read including ‘The white heat of Miami, the implants of LA, the glittering waters of the Caribbean’ and ‘the deserts of Arabia.’ (taken from the blurb). Definite chick lit, meaning guys may not relate to her as much, although she does talk about shagging a lot. 

Click here to buy!

When I’m reading a book about diving, I judge it in three main ways. Am I losing sleep over its un-putdownable-ness? Am I transported into a romanticised version of diving, with exotic location/treasure/action (corny and stereotypical, I know)? And, Do I learn new things about the ocean and diving that will inspire me?

‘The Dive – A Story of Love & Obsession’ by Pipin Ferreras, despite that it fulfils only two of my important personal factors, is still a book that I rave about. I recommend it to non-divers, such is the interesting content about human limits and behaviour.

Short synopsis – Pipin Ferreras and his wife Audrey Mestre, were freedivings’ power couple. They became obsessed with the competition, and pushing the limits of their own bodies, until Audrey’s attempt to break 166 metres on one breath ended tragically. Following the controversy and claims of sabotage, Pipin recounts his own story, and the love between him and Audrey and the ocean. The one-minded obsession of the human psyche in a foreign element is described here in breathless prose. Oh, and it’s a true story. Click here to buy!

Extended review – I feel the euphoric reason why people freedive and test their limits is described excellently.  I am not supposed to breath underwater (wow it’s a revelation!!). I do know this, I just defy it! But freediving is a much more extreme version of the sport. Not only that, the book describes the actual physical changes the human body must endure when diving to extreme depths on one breath. Terrifying! All rushing blood and shrinking lungs. It seriously does not build a case for an enjoyable afternoon in the ocean. BUT IT DOES! The novel, builds and builds, by describing Pipin’s autobiographical need to live, breathe and work the ocean. It is obsession in its purest form. So is reading it. I am also now a strong contender for a new sport; the ‘Read extreme book on single breath’ championships. Seriously, I had to remind myself to breathe normally. Pipin’s story describes how the ocean draws one in. It is inviting, terrifying and to beat it, to defy nature and survive under water at those depths is a victory against the element herself.

On a more personal level, Audrey herself, seemed like the kind of person you could meet in a dive shop and be instant friends with. Her at-one-ness with marine animals, her excitement and sense of adventure, her powerful obsession. Perhaps it is because Pipin has chosen to previously include in the book many archived photos of Audrey, (Diving with stingrays; Dancing underwater; Watching the sunset; Doing yoga) that her realness is so beautiful. She is not just a character in a book.

Autobiographical books about diving do stress the psychological fixation and passion of the ocean and the sport. And they recount accidents with descriptive reality, rather than having Flipper shoot in and save the day. This fascination of reading one is not a melancholic experience. It is not the macabre need for detail. It’s appeal is in the science of the sport, and the liberation from an ocean that can just as quickly assert her authority.

I thought I would share this excerpt from the novel ‘Three Views Of Crystal Water’ by Katherine Govier.

‘Every time, it is as if I have never done this thing before; never left the safe air and gone feet first in to this cold, wallowing, two-faced, foreign element. I call it alien, although in the sweet sate it is what nourishes me and even fills my body: aren’t we ninety per cent water? But I fear this part of me. It is a world unto itself. I also adore it. Water is seductive, silky to the skin, welcome in its chill when the sun is burning. Endlessly lovely: sometimes a scroll, its lines of foam columns of script telling an ancient tale; sometimes a healer. It soothes, offering weightlessness and dream in exchange for consciousness. But try to enter it! Its surface is a pane of glass I shatter at my peril. It stings. Its weight exaggerates my insult. It bulges and caves into great troughs. It tosses me like an angry parent. It sucks me down.’ 

It’s about the Japanese women pearl divers in the 1920’s. The illustrious way it is written, and her descriptions of water especially, struck something in me that I’m sure you diveaddicts have also felt.

Click here to buy!

Note : oceanlingo.com will be reviewing more dive fiction in more depth (excuse the pun) soon!